THE LACK OF COURTESY IN AMERICA TODAY

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     Five years ago today on November 22nd, 2012, I launched this forum to discuss and debate controversial issues.  As The Controversy celebrates its five-year anniversary, I bring to the table this question.  When did courtesy towards other people's feelings go out the window?  When did hurting someone - not necessarily physically, but emotionally - become something that certain Americans find unimportant?  What has happened to our country?

     The term "politically incorrect" was verbalized - in speech and in print - infrequently during the 1980s...but apparently not ever before that time.  The phrase became more widely used in the early 1990s when - according to Wikipedia - the expression "entered more mainstream usage in the United States when it was the subject of a series of articles in The New York Times."  But throughout the presidential campaign of 2016 - after Donald Trump announced his candidacy and let it be known that "political correctness" was not anything that should be respected... or even considered - a tremendous amount of Americans jumped on to that bandwagon.

     I wrote an editorial - published for The Controversy on Tuesday, March 22nd, 2016 - titled, Can We Talk?  The link to that commentary is at the bottom of this column should you decide to read it or re-read it.  I of course encourage you to do so.  I believe I make some very important points that just may help you - in fact, all of us - in our day to day lives.

     With the onset of technology...fewer and fewer people talk on the telephone.  A large percentage of Americans don't even have landline phones in their homes.  And their cell phones are rarely used by some individuals to actually communicate with family and friends in a conversation that requires their voices.

     Instead of speaking to someone on their cell phones...some people - I shudder to say, most - use their devices to text.  They use their iPhones and other so-called... "smart phones"...to send messages and post photos on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat.

     Now don't misunderstand my intention here.  Technology is progress.  I'd be lost without my computer.  And I too take advantage of the various different social media outlets.  But I do not dismiss the one-on-one, person-to-person form of human conversation because of my access to people via other means of contact.  We - as Americans - are losing that human touch.

     Nobody today - or, at least, not too many people - hand write a letter.  Do elementary schools even teach penmanship or handwriting to children?  Time will come when there won't be anyone in our country - perhaps the world - who will know how to write words on a piece of paper.  All they'll know how to do is use their thumbs to text and all their fingers on a computer keyboard.  That is...if we still even have keyboards.

     And then there's the issue of patience.  People today don't read much of anything.  They skim.  It seems as if it's a chore for someone to read an entire typewritten postal letter - if they ever do receive one - or an e-mail that another person has taken the time to write them.  I can only wonder how many of you are actually reading this entire column and how many of you have even gotten to this point without moving on to something else.

     I interviewed numerous individuals on much of the topics being discussed in this column as preparation to write this commentary.  And the general answer from most who I questioned was..."I don't have the time."  Well, I'm sorry...but that's a bunch of bunk.  Or to be more blunt...it's bull----.  I have held jobs in broadcasting for which I worked twelve to eighteen hours a day...and yet I always found time - away from work - to read and respond to personal e-mails without it interfering with other personal responsibilities or socializing in person with my friends. 

     When there was no e-mail...no Facebook...no tweeting...or any other kind of social media correspondence...people sat down at a desk and wrote letters with a pen or pencil.  Long letters.  Letters that were two, three, four pages or more.  And the recipients of those letters...read them.  And read them...word for word.  They focused...and absorbed...the content of the letters.  Now though...when people tell me that they don't have five minutes to read an e-mail...that, quite frankly, is insulting.

     I am inundated with "stuff"...that pops up on my Facebook page or in my e-mail in-box - some of which I find interesting and some that I simply don't care to read.  So I don't.  I scroll by those items.  As for junk e-mails...I delete those that I have no desire to read.  But an e-mail from a friend, co-worker or relative...I will always read.  And I would never take additional time...to e-mail a person I know...to tell him or her...to stop sending e-mails to me.  I would not offend another human being in that manner.

     I recently had some people inform me that they basically have no problem telling a family member - or someone else close to them - to stop sending them e-mails on matters that don't interest them.  This takes me back to the days when people complained about what was being broadcast on certain television networks or stations.  Just "change the channel," I would argue.  Especially today with 500 or more options on a cable television directory...you've got enough to choose from so just..."change the channel."  The same applies to e-mails or Facebook and other social media postings.  If you don't want to read it...scroll by it.  Skip it.  Delete it.  Go to something else.  In other words..."change the channel."  But to complain about it...to hurt the feelings of a friend, relative or co-worker by telling them to stop... lacks the courtesy I noted at the outset of this commentary.

     When a friend happens to mention that he or she is wearing his or her favorite shirt, would you turn to that person and make the following statement?  "That shirt is ugly."  Now I do not condone lying.  I don't lie...and - to be perfectly frank - I despise liars and abhor when people do it.  But a..."white lie"...that is told so to not offend another human being...is certainly acceptable.  

     Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  You're invited to the home of a friend or relative...and that person - or his or her spouse - spends hours upon hours cooking a big holiday dinner.  But the food is the most disgusting meal you have ever eaten.  Yet you eat it anyway.  And you even compliment the person by enthusiastically telling him or her that "dinner was delicious."  Or do you?  In the world we live in today...or, at least, in the country we live in...with the lack of courtesy with everything else...maybe you say..."You can't cook.  The food was horrible and I think I want to throw up."

     God help us if that's what America has come to.

     Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.  And please remember to be courteous.

     And that's The Controversy for today.

     I'm Gary B. Duglin.

     "We'll talk again."

The Controversy is a publication of GBD Productions.  Founder and Editor-In-Chief of The Controversy is Gary B. Duglin.

Can We Talk? http://www.thecontroversy.net/2016/03/can-we-talk.html

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